I wasn’t planning on sharing this one publicly because its a lil strange. I told someone about it, to get it off my chest, and then I told someone else, and I still had the nagging feeling to write it down for real. I have been struggling with my writing the past few years and I do enjoy recording my dreams. So here it is.
This one is not as detailed as some of my others and the reason is because I capture a lot more details if I immediately get to a keyboard and start typing and edit out the gibberish later. This time I had texted it to someone and as I was typing on the phone a lot of details slipped away and I just got the main bullet points. As with most of my dreams the I record, I feel that I really only am able to remember maybe the last few moments, right before I woke up, and even then only can actually record such a small percentage of the dream because it slips away so fast and so much is hard to put into words.
I was new and at a boarding school that looked like a shopping mall. The place was huge, where the stores would be were classrooms, and where the food court is was the cafeteria. I had another dream that started in a mall recently which was interesting. So during this dream I was very confused and disoriented a lot, getting lost on the way to classes, didn’t understand the materials, did not even understand what grade I was in. At one point I made a comment about how we would be going to high school next year, but immediately thought to myself, that cant be right… and people gave me strange looks and didn’t say anything. So I thought I was in middle school, and I had a high school body.
I had a lot of trouble keeping up with everything, I kept getting lost and I appeared to only have two friends. One was like a younger version of a friend from college, and the other was a younger version of someone I really only barely know through social media. One would appear and help me get to classes when I was lost, and help me with school work, the other would talk to me in class and help me with my answers, we were basically cheating but it was such a relief because I had zero comprehension of the work. Another weird thing was that I never saw any teachers we were just going to the classrooms and doing like independent work, study, research, we had either books or computers. It was like online classes in a building and It was very organized and efficient, other than me who seemed to be perpetually confused and lost- hang in there it only gets worse.
It became apparent to me that I was pregnant. I was getting round and continuing to struggle in school. I had no recollection of anything happening to cause this, but I knew there was two possibilities. I knew somehow that I had slept with both of my friends. I was thinking a lot in addition to the school stress, and I went through a few phases.
First I thought it would be impossible to figure out whose child it was before birth, and probably even after birth unless it had obvious features, so I wouldn’t know how to tell someone they were a father or include them in the pregnancy and birth.
Next I entered a phase where I realized it was both of theirs. I was excited because that meant they could both be fathers, both of my friends, and the baby would have both of their positive features. Here is a good time to point out that the one has bright red hair and the other has dark hair, and different skin tones, that is the best I can do for descriptions. I was happy to have a blend of their genes and thought this was good for the baby to have two fathers who hopefully would be supportive if they were happy about the situation. The dream felt very spacey and surreal and although i was stressing about school they were both super chill and bubbly and cool the whole time so that is why I thought all of this was no big deal. It was not real life okay guys, it was spacey bubbly dream world with chill characters. Next I was overcome by the fear that the baby would be, not necessarily “ugly” but just a bad blend of the genes and features, like basically the mixture might not end up looking like any of the three of us at all because it would have too much going on and the features i liked best would be all muddled together.
The next phase is my favorite one. SO I suddenly had a revelation! IT WAS TWINS!! I was SO EXCITED to have a lil miniature version of my two friends, ONE OF EACH. There were going to be two children and separate dads, yet twins, but not identical. I thought wow this is amazing I have never heard of this I am so glad this is happening to me! I was thinking how nobody would really even know they were twins or brothers and it would be cool to have secret twins! (This was dream me okay not real me) So I was BEAMING over this news and so happy.
I woke up.
I thought… how weird would that be if that was actually possible, I cannot believe I dreamed that!! I grabbed my phone and googled it. ITS POSSIBLE YOU GUYS. I am shook. How could i dream something I never heard of and then it be real!!??! And I mean I have a lot of unique ideas rolling around in the back of my head somewhere about sperm and eggs and DNA that I would never share because they would just make me sound crazy but…. this really was crazy. It’s apparently very rare, I am sure, but also not impossible. !!!
My plans for this website and blog have evolved over time and while I have a lot of “blocks” and struggles with writing right now, I have been finding ways to still be able to write so I don’t get “rusty”. The world has changed, my life has changed, my soul has changed. There are a lot of things I simply cannot force myself to write about so I am going down other avenues. I love writing about products I love, my pets, things that make me happy, and I like writing up my dreams. So we gonna get a lil weird in here, you are welcome to come along for the ride. Its 2019 people and we are just going to write and play and do whatever we want in this lil corner of the interwebs. a lil scrapbook of random pieces of me. And maybe other people too, we’ll see how it all plays out. Enjoy : )