Tarzan & Jane

 

My sister watched Tarzan recently and texted me saying Jake and I are Tarzan and Jane.

I couldn’t really remember the movie, so I looked it up and thought…

yeah, that seems about right actually.

Things I immediately noticed when I met Jake.

Large kneecaps.
Protruding brow.

Doesn’t seem to understand or respond when I speak to him.
Ridiculously handsome.

Tans easily.
Doesn’t have the same concept of personal space that I do.
Always seems to be too loud or too quiet.
Either talks non stop or doesn’t speak.
I don’t know what this man is talking about most of the time.
I don’t know what this man is doing most of the time.

His hands are unique. for some reason the actual finger tips and nails seem wide to me.
Very muscular, pecs were way too large and for some reason he had huge thighs.
I thought he looked like a cartoon character because of his body type…..
and now I finally figured out which one.
Especially now that I had him grow his hair out for the wedding….
(and currently refusing to cut it so it can grow back…)

So when we first met, we met at a party, and Jake was leaned up against a mantle, and the way he was standing and drinking his beer, I thought it looked like he was modeling. I was at the party because at least two different sets of my friends were there, and one group of people I had been hanging out with a lot, ended up being Jakes little friend circle. I’ve always been able to go to parties and talk to random people. So, I noticed how he looked and how he was standing, and I made a few comments laughing at him about how he looked like he was trying to model…. and things of that nature. I kid you not, I made many different comments, and the man never said a word. (Awe, how cute, English is probably not his first language. )

Now, at this time, I was looking for adventure in life and there were a lot of different cultures that interested me. I was really blossoming in finding myself and my faith at this time, and dating or making friendships with people of various backgrounds, races, personality types, and cultures was exciting for me. I always thought I would end up married to someone of a different race/culture, and I thought I would probably end up living abroad somewhere.

Now, currently, Jake and me never speak the same language, and we have a ministry and a child in Uganda.

But back to that night, I hung out with lots of people, and had a good time, but any time I stumbled upon this boy, I would start conversations, make eye contact, make jokes, make observations, laugh, drink, and I’m telling y’all, he may have mumbled a few words but he basically acted like it was stranger danger and kept scurrying away to stand in a corner somewhere looking glazed and confused. I had a great time with all his friends and due to his unusual appearance and his awkward behavior ( I had dated many types of guys from many countries in the past) I thought he was a foreign student from some other country or something, maybe a soccer player or who knows, but regardless the man could not make a connection with me to save his life!

I specifically remember finding him on facebook a few weeks later through his friends pages and starting up a chat.
I asked if he remembered me and I think he was very confused for a while and it was clear he did not. That hurt, (how could he not remember me? I looked amazing that night and practically stalked him all night? Am I that forgettable?) I don’t remember the context of the conversation but I think he was thinking I was someone else and it was an awkard ordeal. I tried to look it up on facebook but it was no longer there, but a few months after I first met him the oldest message I have between us is me sending him ideas for how to make “hookah bubbles” a pleasant little ritual I interjected into the friend group.. who liked to smoke hookah. So in the facebook message once he knew who I was and we got past the hassles of strained communication, I tried to make flirtatious small talk… Where are you from? He says-Wilkesboro. I imagine him as a foreign exchange student going to high school in a small town, (awe how cute )
So I say, “Oh okay, but where are you from originally?”
“Wilkesboro”
Yall I was blown away. I thought I was talking to an extremely good looking foreign guy and he was just a regular ole shy white boy.

So yeah, flash forward 7 years and I still don’t understand the man but 2 weekends ago we decided to have “date night”, apparently this is something that couples who actually see each other do to bond. Most of our “date nights” are laundry, walking dogs, or sleeping. So we had date night starting at midnight even though we had to work, and we watched Tarzan and ate homemade popcorn. The movie was so much more intense than we had remembered. I cried and due to the fact that we never watch tv or movies, we could not control our emotions and talked through half of it because we were so stressed out! I was yelling at the screen and talking myself through it- Yall I could NOT DEAL!- “It’s just a movie I need to calm down- but I’m about to lose it- THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER BETRAY YOUR FAMILY FOR A WOMAN!!!!” We agreed that the couple in the movie is definitely us.  The weirdest part is that I always loved Jane Goodall growing up, I had a book about her and kept it in my underwear drawer.  It was my dream to live in Africa with the gorillas.

So I married Tarzan y’all. and hes a disaster. but hey- hes MY disaster.